At the moment, I'm feeling a little confused about the situation. The past few days, I have discovered the other side of him, the side that I didn't know and was ultimately surprised at his potential to be someone I feared he could become. So I sent him an email (as I do) ..but he took it to offense and I guess you could say, he told me off on the phone for having opinions or as he would call it 'something to say'. It hurt me because in the process of discussing our feelings, he just hung the phone. This event hasn't caused me to be bitter to him, or change the way I feel ..because in my heart, I still believe in his drive for goodness. But he doesn't know that cos I haven't told him - another problem of mine. When will he eventually know my side of the fence? Is it too late?
Other than that, a good thing is - Jane and I finally had a civilised, respected conversation that we both needed. Sisters, friends reaching out to each other in despair. I love her dearly, and I feel sorry for her suffering, at the same time I also think people choose their suffering situations because of the poor decisions they make. I hope and pray that I can help her (even if it will hurt me) cos she is going through SO much more than me.
Tonight I called up my BFF Karen, and it reminded me of why she is and always will be my BF. It's been 7 months since we last saw/spoke to each other properly, but even through the distance, she still understands me more than anyone I know. I'm so happy she is happy with her life and is in good hands with Lance. Gotta love her!
To tell you the truth, not receiving an sms or phone call from Ryan today makes me miss him. But he doesn't know that.
Btw, I got my first "real" job interview today at Clare, and I have a great/positive feeling about this one! I'll find out by the end of the week! *fingers crossed*.
No comments:
Post a Comment