What is happiness to you?

The famous tag line from the movie 'Vanilla Sky'. I've never watched a movie that portrays reality as a possible figment of our imaginations, which makes you think really hard whether our lives are only the way they are because we picture it this way, or it's turned into a sweet scene of a movie or an unforgettable paragraph from a book. Either way, life is tanglible and there is no other reality but now.

As I was watching this movie with my boyfriend, the line 'What is happiness to you?' kept popping up in my mind and I'm determined to answer that question right now. I can't say it's one thing, but I do know it's a moment, a person, a decision I've made that has contributed to this happiness in my life. But what is happiness? - emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. I know I feel contentment when I can be myself, give something of myself and be able to share myself with others, whether it's my time, my money, my knowledge, my wisdom but most importantly, my heart. My sense of happiness is not measured by time, or has a season. Many things now make me happy, like eating my favourite food, or driving around (it relaxes me..), or watching movies, but eventually those moments come to an end - 2 hours at the most and it'd be over. So timeless moments - the only times where I have felt the most happiest is when I've served in Youth For Christ, and that's a fact. Nothing will ever change those times.

But I just think good things will happen, if you are a good person with a good attitude, don't you think? Why do I hold on to these moments in YFC when so many people have come and gone and it is merely only a phase in their life? Because in YFC I have witnessed finding my purpose and discovering me - my fears, my insecurities, my strengths, my dreams ...all in one place that the world has not offered. And not only have I stretched myself in this service, but I have found Christ real in the world through all of the people I have served with and especially in one person who has shown me friendship like Him. He is someone who reminds me what real friendship should be, what real love is like. Even though we fall short sometimes, he is my living proof that faith, hope and love exist ...and that is my happiness.

There are no guarantees, but remember: Even in the future, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.

Most of us live our whole lives... without any real adventure to call our own. I've written this line several times throughout this blog, that I still don't know why and how we just knew it was us two - but when you can be yourself freely, love limitlessly and trust assureingly, then you know :) Only this year have I've come to realise that nothing is ever impossible, and when you trust in someone completely, that is the moment when the carriage unbuckles and the adventure begins. I know our lives have only experienced a taste of how wonderful life is going to be in the future, and it only makes me smile and excited that it is him I get to share my world with :)

I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer. I love you baby.