Every morning I wake up feeling like life is full of ..life. I don't remember feeling this way for a while, for a few years ..until only a few weeks ago. I feel like the bigggest part of my heart was missing, and now it's back into place ..in such a way I never ever thought possible. His email reply last night was unexpected, but also full of truth. This line brought me to complete tears (that I had to cry onto a cloth just because I couldn't stop):
Something always told me that one day ...however far it was...something would lead me bak 2 you.. now that it has.. 2 b honest i am terrified...... scared out of my mind... to know that one day god mite take this away once again....bcoz i know in my heart...i dont deserve you...
Was he feeling the same way as me all these years too? I remember playing 'Back to you' by John Mayer during the HSC days and afterwards just because I believed one day, I'll be with him. Back to you, It always comes around, Back to you, I tried to forget you, I tried to stay away, But it's too late ...Leave the light on, I'll never give up on you, Leave the light on, For me too, for me too.
He gives me butterflies in my stomach every sms, every late night phone call. :)
During my shift at the childcare today at the nursery, after having changed 4 nappies full of poop (which totally has turned me off from wanting to be a mother soon), I realised that I couldn't do childcare (or primary) for the rest of my life after all ..and highschool is a challenge but also more rewarding and life fulfilling. Maybe God gave me these 2 days to reconsider my future plans of completing a Masters of Teaching (Primary) and maybe this opportunity to tutor Cheryl and Jheron is an affirmation of what I really enjoy, which is maths and tutoring.
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