New blog. New thoughts. No audience. After browsing through my old blog (mary_xox) the prime of my blogging/venting days, I just realised how in touch I was with my emotions and how connected I was with my mind and my heart. That was 3 years ago. Maybe I can be as articuluate as before. Only this time, there is no fear of judgements, or prying eyes into my normal, complicated life.
So complicated life I say? I never thought I could ever go back there, not after the situation. So for reminiscing sake and incase of sudden brain lose, this is what has happened in the past month.
He came back. Only this time, for real. With real words, real feelings (or I'd like to hope for..). It was hard to admit that after 3 years with K, someone who defined a real man, with ultimate respect for women and sincerity, only became the void that was in my heart. Someone had already stolen my heart 4 years ago and he still held it. I always ask myself, 'Why is he back?', and honestly, only God really knows why... Why I still see the great guy inside of him despite his shortcomings. There's just something about him that I can't describe. All I know is that when I'm with him, I feel complete, myself and at peace. He's the only person that has made me feel this way.
Honestly, I know it's going to be a hard road. But I know he's worth it. Just like the conversation we had last night - 'This is it, it's now or never'. There was something between us 4 years ago, something hard to describe ..but it's more than a friendship. I can see a future with him, and I can feel he can too.
Lord, please help me to understand my feelings and be patient with what you have planned for our life. If he is really here to stay, help us to make this relationship right.
No comments:
Post a Comment